I used to believe in the existence of the so-called perfect wedding. My belief system changed when I had my wedding back in October 2016. The preparation itself was smooth but on the actual wedding day? It did not turn out as I hoped it would be. First, our officiant was late so we had to cut things short. Second, I fell sick that I had to miss the after party. No first dance, no family pictures, no couple photos. On a scale of 1 to 10, I would give it a 7.5. It wasn’t a disaster but, you know, it’s not perfect. The next few months were filled with anguish and disappointment. I couldn’t accept the fact that my wedding didn’t run as planned. Shoulda woulda coulda.
My amazing man kept cheering me up and always reminded me that things could have been worse. But instead of feeling a relief, I would get emotional even more. I’m not always the type who sweat small stuff but whoa, why did my tears keep rolling down like there’s no tomorrow? I know it sounds ridiculous. Believe me, I know. There are far worse things happening in this world and to cry over a wedding shouldn’t even be an issue. I KNOW. I just can’t help it!
If you think wedding celebration is all about the groom and the bride, you’re wrong. Don’t ever forget that your guests could hit your nerve, more so than your worst enemy. I never thought guests could be one helluva pain. There were two types of guests that annoyed me the most: the demanding and the indecisive. In theory, you can scratch their names off of the guest list but in reality, ignoring your guests means drama. Especially when the guests are your relatives. Pre-wedding drama? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I thought wedding is suppose to be a bride’s biggest moment.
I thought a bride should be the happiest on her wedding day.
I thought people should take care of me instead of me babysitting them.
The list goes on.
Sorry to break you the unpleasant news but wedding is not always a bride’s perfect moment. This is the part that bridal magazines and ads will never tell you. This leads me to what I’m about to say next.
There’s no such thing as perfect wedding.
Perfect, ten out of ten, flawless wedding does not exist. But you don’t have to have a perfect wedding. I repeat, you don’t have to! Yes it is a special day, and yes you want to make it as best as you can but don’t beat yourself up if things don’t go right. Ask your married friends, I guarantee most of them will have at least one thing that they don’t like about their wedding.
If you’re still coping with wedding regrets, I got your back. I, too, have yet come to terms with what happened during my wedding day. I try to put things behind me and move on but nothing is able to fill the void. It’s literally a mix of different feelings;
1. upset (because things didn’t go as planned),
2. sad (because it’s over),
3. but also happy (because I finally married the man of my dream).
I can’t look at my wedding photos and videos without a slight feeling of disappointment. BUT, I embrace all the feelings, no matter how much it hurts me. I don’t want to resist and pretend that I’m 100% okay with how things turned out because I’m not. It’s been six months since I tied the knot and I’m still working on dealing with this wedding blues. Maybe it will take me months or even years before everything subsides but in the meantime, I’ll just let my heart deal with all the emotions.
If my story resonates with you, just remember that you’re not alone. Time will heal and there’s much more bigger things that you should look forward to. Think about your life partner and how you would spend the rest of your life together. Our mistake is we let society bombard us with the idea that wedding is the single biggest thing in life. What about marriage? Relationship? Quality time with family?
If at the end of the day you get to marry your man/woman, then it is a perfect wedding.
Til later loves,